And you're tired of bisexual people getting erased, which is one reason you never even felt like you could explore the possibility. But now, you write (and publish!) bisexual stories that celebrate queer joy. Every day, you try to be an openly bisexual and queer woman so that others know it's okay to be themselves too, however they choose to express that.

That was my experience, and I know a lot of other millennial (and older) late bloomers, too. No matter when you figured out that you are bi, pan, or queer, there are POSITIVE RESOURCES out there to support you (and a whole world of queer fiction, if you haven't already discovered it!). I knew when I published my author website that I wanted to share these things in a centralized place. I hope you find them affirming in some way and help you in your journey, wherever you are.

Please note: I have not used all of these resources nor can I vouch for them. They are a starting point and I encourage you to research further to decide if they are a right fit for you. Many of these resources are east coast US-based, but I give suggestions below for finding local resources. Some resources below are worldwide and virtual. I'll continue to add to this list periodically.

In Case of Emergency

In case of emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. In New Jersey, you can call 211 for Emergency Mobile Psychiatric Resources and other mental health services. You can also call one of the following helplines for support. You are not alone and you are important.

(Links below will take you to websites, not a phone call)

988 Lifeline (U.S. National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline (US): 1-800-656-4673

BlackLine Lifeline: 1-800-604-5841

The Trevor Project (for LGBTQ+ youth): 1-866-488-7386

POV: Through many small revelations, you discover at age 30 that you might be bisexual, and it takes you two years to come out to yourself. Then, you decide that since you're a woman happily married to a cishet man, there's no point in ever telling everyone, though you feel more yourself than ever.

Eventually, you can't keep it inside.

It's the air you breathe.

Being queer is how you move through the world; it's so much more than who you're attracted to.

You want people you love to see you for who you really are, and you want to start coming out to them, one by one. You only know a couple of queer people at the moment, and they don't know about you. But almost everything you find online feels depressing and negative (divorce lawyers, biphobia, some of the highest stats of domestic/sexual violence, emergency hotlines). You almost chicken out, but after a while, the anxiety eats you up. You decide to go forward anyway and tell people. Luckily, in your case, folks in your life are super supportive and it opens up your relationships in ways you never expected. You're now the happiest you've ever been.